Cheat Engine

[King Chezzmo]

I wanna come visit

[TheIndianGuy]

that would be cool. haven't talked to you or brolock in a while. you never go on skype anymore and i don't go on steam or when i do you're away.

decided to put myself in another rehab for a month. is covered by my parents insurance and pretty intense program so i decided it would be beneficial for me. it's all day long from 7 a.m. to 8 p.m. 7 days a week. no internet or cellphones or mp3 players, unfortunately. will be intense and not fun but i need the structure. also need to get out of this environment and my regular life for a little bit. haven't had any desire to do anything; don't want to go to school, not actively pursuing a job and i'd probably quit after a week or two if i got one, don't want to get up from the couch all day to go shower, shave, brush my teeth, eat, or grab something to drink til the point where i'm really hungry. and of course i haven't been able to stop using drugs in general for any solid period of time. even if i'm not using heroin everyday i still shot up heroin and smoked some from last friday til tuesday. and keep buying benzos online in ridiculous amounts taking way too much every day. and when i'm on the benzos they alter my mind into making bad choices without caring. so i end up smoking some weed one day or doing some heroin and test dirty with my probation officer. no dirty heroin tests since it doesn't stay in your system for more than 3 days, but weed stays for a long time even with one time smoking i'll still test dirty over a week later.

anyway, i need to be forced into a routine of waking up early and doing something about my drug problem. i'll probably be going to a sober living home afterwards for a little while and just go to a.a. meetings nearby there with people from the house. and hopefully i'll get back into the habit of living like a normal person.