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Konata Izumi Grandmaster Cheater Supreme
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Joined: 14 Feb 2008 Posts: 1527
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Posted: Tue Sep 09, 2008 1:32 pm Post subject: its a secret. |
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This place is closed until further notice, the bailiffs coming in on Monday when they're taking all valuable merchandise to sell for drug money which is to be shared out equally amongst the magistrates mistresses theres a rumour that Egg, aka she of no knickers,will put some on when she feels the cold hands of jack frost nipping at her nether regions and sending a chill straight down her spine ending at her endless long legs which were trapped in her partner's wallet, girls can multitask only if they're not gagged but then along came a spider which spun a web over her fly (she was wearing trousers) and then seeing that the sun was shining she went back into her lovers drawers to rummage around, hi love he said go easy or you could damage the goods as well as your hands, put this cream on yer chin it protects you from chilblains and wayward Bailiffs who are after your virginity ,is this possible, are there really any left i'll let you Know where or when you attend your next knees up at the Wood choppers Ball so that you can check it out for virgins if Richard Branson decides to bring his hot air balloon into the house for a well earned rub down and perhaps up to the top or a bit of 'hows your father' then came the surprise when Teaky appeared from under the sheet's looking for one of the french letters that had become entangled in the curtain tie backs which had been "well hung" by the Egg but who else had he left under the sheets then JJ poped up janice joplin of all people - but really jaljal in disguise (recognised by the hose in his hand) and renowed for always being on top of his prey with his bible in one hand and his hose in the other he whispered to the goblin --who incidently is not related to the female goblin who fell pregnant after sitting on a toadstool-- whilst bouncing on a puff ball could you imagine the look on the face of the person reading this when it turned out that she was still dealing with the bailiff that as still looking for Eggs top two debts which she will repay when she has sorted out Teaky and his wandering hands and jj with his wandering hose but first she has to get her knickers back from the dirty pervert but the question is which one of our suspects is the knicker nicker the plot thickens - is it Teaky with his hands or JJ with his hose which is always hard to detect or is the culprit her long time lover from Ireland the one thats addicted to Ovaltine because he's always had a penchant for Egg's dirty panties ever since the 2 of them suddenly appeared on Match Of The Day but neither fitted Gary and Mark so who's are they if not Egg's could they belong to the other scarlet woman who frequents these forums and Peter thought Steph wasn’t in the running because he also knows what knickers she wears when he's preparing himself for a night of perverted passion that only the dirty goblin with the white pants would know what's inside the hidden treasure of Pandora’s box with it’s magic very flexible acccordian and a labyrinth of tunnels going all round and back and forth to the subject of his intention--the lovely owner and love of his life the very trim & beautiful Anne took him by the little short route and told him "Leave my box alone I need it for playing with The England Cricket team" whereupon Peter scratched his head wondering why the hell women wore boxes when batting but there again maybe that’s the reason England went to finishing school for a couple of weeks before heading off to the Mad Hatter's Tea Party with the intention to cause havoc and mayhem but unbeknown to them the dormouse had chewed their boxes , leaving them afraid of the balls that were now visible now that we have seen the light and decided that it's fun making Peter cry and swear profusedly at the effing dormouse for going back to the boxes and showing us its balls again instead of the bits he had brought up as a result of eating too much at the Tea Party which was expected to last about as long as a satisfactory sh*te but it decided this story/sentence is bogged down with boxes and balls so it headed to the airport to go to the little box room to have another good sh*t or piss but couldn't decide so he did neither and clutching his boarding card joined the queue of passengers boarding the plane to the Heathrow baggage handlers section annual thank you ball that was being hosted by Jane Baddy in her capacity as the sexy piece of baggage you have always lusted after you found out about the transplants being ovaltine flavoured and Peter wanted to really get his big lips around them but he held back anxiously waiting for the cops to come but what Peter hadn't realised was the cops were strippergrams also with big knockers ready to show just who was coming quietly or who was going to put up any resistance to the lusty WPC with a squeezy bottle full of body lotion that she was quite willingly ready to use it to drown the effing dormouse that knawed the boxes to start this ridiculous exposed balls escapsade off but on the other hand she thought if she could only met Jal she could use the oil in more adventurous ways by loading it into an enema syringe and tossing a coin to pick the best orifice to stuff it up. Heads it was so she stuck it in his naval and cleaned out all the dust which had accumulated there and then proceeded onto young Craig who looked shocked to say the least, his first thought was the money belt he kept his lotto win money in wondering if he really needed a money belt to keep his £10 winnings in still if his luck changed he might. Then he remembered , he had purchased a second belt for the rest of the money. His plastered arm began to itch & the weight of the rest of his near million winnings began to weigh heavily or so it seemed. His testicles were now throbbing , not only from the weight of his reserve money bag but in anticipation of a meeting with the delectable Zante & her little friend the Bunnystalker who it's rumoured had so many face lifts her toes curled up so much her nose was on the forehead, but her mouth was well positioned so there was never really any problems when she smoked her pipe but Craig got excited with the thought of Bunnystalker having a pipe she could get her lips round, meanwhile back at the ranch, monday had arrived & with it came the ballifs.Just as Craigs money belt broke and his trousers fell down Zante gave Bunnystalker the big elbow thinking, Craig's a big Welsh fella who has lost control of the lower part of his body due to spending too much time in sub zero continents and unfortunately his tackle needs warm hands to awaken his passion, stir his loins and put the lead back in his pencil because he is right handed & in plaster finds the crayons hard to use when colouring in his Christmas colouring book so he got the cat to do it's stuff on the big moggy next door well as the fur flew in all directions the woman next door gathered the fur for a coat to wear to Craig's rendezvous with the KGB agent who by now had got enough information about Craig to cart him off to the Kremlin where he was about to be interrogated by the sexy Nikita who turned out to be none other than a transvestite with a fetish for rubber ducks and crotchless panties because the rubber duck just fitted in the gap and that made Craig's appetite for sea-food insatiable he couldn't keep is eyes off the duck and just had to have a go at seeing if anybody could construct a sensible reply with Peking Duck in the next phrase but Craig thinks Peking Duck is lacking the giblets he craves with his french fries which he loves covered in really strong curry sauce but unfortunately this makes him rather flatulent, necessitating the use of a gas mask, as the pong is just too strong to endure unless he has eaten it in a air conditioned room full of nymphomaniacs who at all times kept their backs to him in case the sudden need to avoid the flames from the now almost legandary thrust from his ever ready hose pipe which has to be hooked up to a catalyst converter to aviod adding to the effects of global warming and thus plunging the earth into devastation and debauchery resulting from eating that damned curry sauce when a more refined diner would have had black pudding & tripe which as a meal is seen as one giant step forward for mankind in the last century - thankgod that today we've got reinforced airtight elongated underpants on sale to overcome these super gas outflows & the ability to harness the energy released when said undergarments are coupled up to the innovative gas powered car engine being developed by Egg who has a similar aroma when her knickers are lowered by Chadad but only the edible version have the added advantage of egg stuffing them down his throat shouting in his ear "copy and paste you twit and leave the Quote Original button out to dry" and fortunately Chad said it was all a misunderstanding and he wasn't a lazy git so egg extracted her edible pants and put them in the frying pan and asked Chad what sauce he would like with them but this puzzled Chad because he thought she knew what he liked but no sooner had the thought flashed through his brain when his eyes caught the terrifying sight of the trickle of what was either the sauce or blood gently trickling down one side of eggs mouth her eye balls had now rolled upwards and back into the sockets of her skull so that just the whites were showing he wondered for a moment were her teeth protruding more than they had the last time he had glanced at her & what was the enormous knife for that was being shufled from one hand to the other by this time chads airtight underwear was really proving it's durability under load chad by this time was wondering if he had sprayed enough brute round his undercarriage because having tried WD40 on the bean tin and finding that it had very little effect he had decided to try spraying anything he could find in a can although this had lead to a multitude of misshaps, the latest and greatest being the plauge of cats & dogs that could in the early hours be heard for miles wailing could this combination of chemicals be attractive to the oposite sex or was this a scientific breakthrough that would do away with the penis extention that our man Chad was about to put to the test with the durable Egg but now the break through coming at a critical time has one drawback that was overlooked would egg on discovering the awful truth that Dave would be playing the last post on his concertina as her,(Eggs that is) scanties were being lowered to half mast and the rest of the forum members were standing in silent respect and awe, whether entranced by Dave's versatility, chadad's daring or the terror over who would be next to cause to her to phone the RSPCA and tell them she had more randy mongels than she could handle, although this felt like an admission of failure to her, because having declared that she was going to " Sort em out in alphabetical order ", here she was blushingly admitting that she was Grinding ( Geddit ), to a halt and had only reached the letter C, which began to raise doubts in the minds of the onlookers whether her boasts had been edited with a biro or was it a brillo pad to clean her act up why was the box room full of plastic carrier bags was this a ploy to cash in on the " One point per recycled bag " that was trumpeted to the astounded public? and what were all those odd socks doing artistically and tastfully displayed in a riot of different shades of black? but before leaping to conclusions let us remember the time when the delectable Egg had promised to appear in net stockings and then turned up in a pair of support stockings that she had googled on the net thus bitterly disappointing the multitude of her admirers who promptly turned on her & stripped her of all her remaining dignity by removing what little clothes she always had on until they got down to the string vest which still had the address lable that had been put on it at the station the day she was evacuated from london during the 2nd world war she was a big child and even then never discarded anything this probably accounts for the ASDA trolley which goes everywhere with her even to the local slipper baths where she places her tattered remaining gaments but comments have been made about her supposed wealth which, it is rumoured she secretes about her person, thus explaining the various curves and intriguing bulges that make her such a stud magnet and an object of round eyed lust and desire to her legions of panting admirers who cast aside their inhibitions and flock to follow this Madonna-of-the-internet, this Femme-Fatale of the forums, this veritable Earth-mother of the E-Mails, in the forlorn hope that they will be the one to pop her cherry, which had already been popped by none other than the well known & often mentioned freefall expert the well respected Chadad who was last seen staggering away clutching his heart and the tattered remains of his swim-suit, (His favourite striped one with the reinforced patches on the elbows and knees), and muttering something about "Oh Ma Gawd, never again" but we all know that after a slice of Jals birthday cake and a swig of Kate's home brewed plonk he will take up his bus-pass and once more tread the well trodden path back to Eggs out stretched wide open front door that had been hung by the carpenter so the balliff could only kick his way out and not in but why was the door a REVOLVING door? and why did the door mat read " Abandon hope all who enter here ", instead of welcome? and most mysterious of all, why did all the foot prints only lead in, and not out of this most alluring of orifices, surely the words Spider and fly spring to mind (Well, we are on the web) and the possibility of entering eggs entrance to heaven but not being able withdraw was preying on Chadads mind so much that he decided sod it in for a penny in for a pound and started tearing his clothes off and resulting from this Channel X viewers, who unknown to us egg had sold the franchaise too, suddenly here comes the cavalry - Liz comes tearing along on her motorised zimmer with Kunning Kate and the Amorous Annes in a trailer - pursued by the Wilson brothers disguised as mr and mrs blobby their zip up at the rear latex suits had neat little yale locks on them so without the keys why were they here the revolving door would be too small for them to enter
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br0l0ck Cheater
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Posted: Tue Sep 09, 2008 1:32 pm Post subject: |
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tl;dr
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Konata Izumi Grandmaster Cheater Supreme
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Joined: 14 Feb 2008 Posts: 1527
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Posted: Tue Sep 09, 2008 1:33 pm Post subject: |
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Jeff Grandmaster Cheater Supreme
Reputation: 1
Joined: 25 Jul 2006 Posts: 1604 Location: Houston, Texas
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Posted: Tue Sep 09, 2008 1:34 pm Post subject: Re: its a secret. |
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This place is closed until further notice, the bailiffs coming in on Monday when they're taking all valuable merchandise to sell for drug money which is to be shared out equally amongst the magistrates mistresses theres a rumour that Egg, aka she of no knickers,will put some on when she feels the cold hands of jack frost nipping at her nether regions and sending a chill straight down her spine ending at her endless long legs which were trapped in her partner's wallet, girls can multitask only if they're not gagged but then along came a spider which spun a web over her fly (she was wearing trousers) and then seeing that the sun was shining she went back into her lovers drawers to rummage around, hi love he said go easy or you could damage the goods as well as your hands, put this cream on yer chin it protects you from chilblains and wayward Bailiffs who are after your virginity ,is this possible, are there really any left i'll let you Know where or when you attend your next knees up at the Wood choppers Ball so that you can check it out for virgins if Richard Branson decides to bring his hot air balloon into the house for a well earned rub down and perhaps up to the top or a bit of 'hows your father' then came the surprise when Teaky appeared from under the sheet's looking for one of the french letters that had become entangled in the curtain tie backs which had been "well hung" by the Egg but who else had he left under the sheets then JJ poped up janice joplin of all people - but really jaljal in disguise (recognised by the hose in his hand) and renowed for always being on top of his prey with his bible in one hand and his hose in the other he whispered to the goblin --who incidently is not related to the female goblin who fell pregnant after sitting on a toadstool-- whilst bouncing on a puff ball could you imagine the look on the face of the person reading this when it turned out that she was still dealing with the bailiff that as still looking for Eggs top two debts which she will repay when she has sorted out Teaky and his wandering hands and jj with his wandering hose but first she has to get her knickers back from the dirty pervert but the question is which one of our suspects is the knicker nicker the plot thickens - is it Teaky with his hands or JJ with his hose which is always hard to detect or is the culprit her long time lover from Ireland the one thats addicted to Ovaltine because he's always had a penchant for Egg's dirty panties ever since the 2 of them suddenly appeared on Match Of The Day but neither fitted Gary and Mark so who's are they if not Egg's could they belong to the other scarlet woman who frequents these forums and Peter thought Steph wasn’t in the running because he also knows what knickers she wears when he's preparing himself for a night of perverted passion that only the dirty goblin with the white pants would know what's inside the hidden treasure of Pandora’s box with it’s magic very flexible acccordian and a labyrinth of tunnels going all round and back and forth to the subject of his intention--the lovely owner and love of his life the very trim & beautiful Anne took him by the little short route and told him "Leave my box alone I need it for playing with The England Cricket team" whereupon Peter scratched his head wondering why the hell women wore boxes when batting but there again maybe that’s the reason England went to finishing school for a couple of weeks before heading off to the Mad Hatter's Tea Party with the intention to cause havoc and mayhem but unbeknown to them the dormouse had chewed their boxes , leaving them afraid of the balls that were now visible now that we have seen the light and decided that it's fun making Peter cry and swear profusedly at the effing dormouse for going back to the boxes and showing us its balls again instead of the bits he had brought up as a result of eating too much at the Tea Party which was expected to last about as long as a satisfactory sh*te but it decided this story/sentence is bogged down with boxes and balls so it headed to the airport to go to the little box room to have another good sh*t or piss but couldn't decide so he did neither and clutching his boarding card joined the queue of passengers boarding the plane to the Heathrow baggage handlers section annual thank you ball that was being hosted by Jane Baddy in her capacity as the sexy piece of baggage you have always lusted after you found out about the transplants being ovaltine flavoured and Peter wanted to really get his big lips around them but he held back anxiously waiting for the cops to come but what Peter hadn't realised was the cops were strippergrams also with big knockers ready to show just who was coming quietly or who was going to put up any resistance to the lusty WPC with a squeezy bottle full of body lotion that she was quite willingly ready to use it to drown the effing dormouse that knawed the boxes to start this ridiculous exposed balls escapsade off but on the other hand she thought if she could only met Jal she could use the oil in more adventurous ways by loading it into an enema syringe and tossing a coin to pick the best orifice to stuff it up. Heads it was so she stuck it in his naval and cleaned out all the dust which had accumulated there and then proceeded onto young Craig who looked shocked to say the least, his first thought was the money belt he kept his lotto win money in wondering if he really needed a money belt to keep his £10 winnings in still if his luck changed he might. Then he remembered , he had purchased a second belt for the rest of the money. His plastered arm began to itch & the weight of the rest of his near million winnings began to weigh heavily or so it seemed. His testicles were now throbbing , not only from the weight of his reserve money bag but in anticipation of a meeting with the delectable Zante & her little friend the Bunnystalker who it's rumoured had so many face lifts her toes curled up so much her nose was on the forehead, but her mouth was well positioned so there was never really any problems when she smoked her pipe but Craig got excited with the thought of Bunnystalker having a pipe she could get her lips round, meanwhile back at the ranch, monday had arrived & with it came the ballifs.Just as Craigs money belt broke and his trousers fell down Zante gave Bunnystalker the big elbow thinking, Craig's a big Welsh fella who has lost control of the lower part of his body due to spending too much time in sub zero continents and unfortunately his tackle needs warm hands to awaken his passion, stir his loins and put the lead back in his pencil because he is right handed & in plaster finds the crayons hard to use when colouring in his Christmas colouring book so he got the cat to do it's stuff on the big moggy next door well as the fur flew in all directions the woman next door gathered the fur for a coat to wear to Craig's rendezvous with the KGB agent who by now had got enough information about Craig to cart him off to the Kremlin where he was about to be interrogated by the sexy Nikita who turned out to be none other than a transvestite with a fetish for rubber ducks and crotchless panties because the rubber duck just fitted in the gap and that made Craig's appetite for sea-food insatiable he couldn't keep is eyes off the duck and just had to have a go at seeing if anybody could construct a sensible reply with Peking Duck in the next phrase but Craig thinks Peking Duck is lacking the giblets he craves with his french fries which he loves covered in really strong curry sauce but unfortunately this makes him rather flatulent, necessitating the use of a gas mask, as the pong is just too strong to endure unless he has eaten it in a air conditioned room full of nymphomaniacs who at all times kept their backs to him in case the sudden need to avoid the flames from the now almost legandary thrust from his ever ready hose pipe which has to be hooked up to a catalyst converter to aviod adding to the effects of global warming and thus plunging the earth into devastation and debauchery resulting from eating that damned curry sauce when a more refined diner would have had black pudding & tripe which as a meal is seen as one giant step forward for mankind in the last century - thankgod that today we've got reinforced airtight elongated underpants on sale to overcome these super gas outflows & the ability to harness the energy released when said undergarments are coupled up to the innovative gas powered car engine being developed by Egg who has a similar aroma when her knickers are lowered by Chadad but only the edible version have the added advantage of egg stuffing them down his throat shouting in his ear "copy and paste you twit and leave the Quote Original button out to dry" and fortunately Chad said it was all a misunderstanding and he wasn't a lazy git so egg extracted her edible pants and put them in the frying pan and asked Chad what sauce he would like with them but this puzzled Chad because he thought she knew what he liked but no sooner had the thought flashed through his brain when his eyes caught the terrifying sight of the trickle of what was either the sauce or blood gently trickling down one side of eggs mouth her eye balls had now rolled upwards and back into the sockets of her skull so that just the whites were showing he wondered for a moment were her teeth protruding more than they had the last time he had glanced at her & what was the enormous knife for that was being shufled from one hand to the other by this time chads airtight underwear was really proving it's durability under load chad by this time was wondering if he had sprayed enough brute round his undercarriage because having tried WD40 on the bean tin and finding that it had very little effect he had decided to try spraying anything he could find in a can although this had lead to a multitude of misshaps, the latest and greatest being the plauge of cats & dogs that could in the early hours be heard for miles wailing could this combination of chemicals be attractive to the oposite sex or was this a scientific breakthrough that would do away with the penis extention that our man Chad was about to put to the test with the durable Egg but now the break through coming at a critical time has one drawback that was overlooked would egg on discovering the awful truth that Dave would be playing the last post on his concertina as her,(Eggs that is) scanties were being lowered to half mast and the rest of the forum members were standing in silent respect and awe, whether entranced by Dave's versatility, chadad's daring or the terror over who would be next to cause to her to phone the RSPCA and tell them she had more randy mongels than she could handle, although this felt like an admission of failure to her, because having declared that she was going to " Sort em out in alphabetical order ", here she was blushingly admitting that she was Grinding ( Geddit ), to a halt and had only reached the letter C, which began to raise doubts in the minds of the onlookers whether her boasts had been edited with a biro or was it a brillo pad to clean her act up why was the box room full of plastic carrier bags was this a ploy to cash in on the " One point per recycled bag " that was trumpeted to the astounded public? and what were all those odd socks doing artistically and tastfully displayed in a riot of different shades of black? but before leaping to conclusions let us remember the time when the delectable Egg had promised to appear in net stockings and then turned up in a pair of support stockings that she had googled on the net thus bitterly disappointing the multitude of her admirers who promptly turned on her & stripped her of all her remaining dignity by removing what little clothes she always had on until they got down to the string vest which still had the address lable that had been put on it at the station the day she was evacuated from london during the 2nd world war she was a big child and even then never discarded anything this probably accounts for the ASDA trolley which goes everywhere with her even to the local slipper baths where she places her tattered remaining gaments but comments have been made about her supposed wealth which, it is rumoured she secretes about her person, thus explaining the various curves and intriguing bulges that make her such a stud magnet and an object of round eyed lust and desire to her legions of panting admirers who cast aside their inhibitions and flock to follow this Madonna-of-the-internet, this Femme-Fatale of the forums, this veritable Earth-mother of the E-Mails, in the forlorn hope that they will be the one to pop her cherry, which had already been popped by none other than the well known & often mentioned freefall expert the well respected Chadad who was last seen staggering away clutching his heart and the tattered remains of his swim-suit, (His favourite striped one with the reinforced patches on the elbows and knees), and muttering something about "Oh Ma Gawd, never again" but we all know that after a slice of Jals birthday cake and a swig of Kate's home brewed plonk he will take up his bus-pass and once more tread the well trodden path back to Eggs out stretched wide open front door that had been hung by the carpenter so the balliff could only kick his way out and not in but why was the door a REVOLVING door? and why did the door mat read " Abandon hope all who enter here ", instead of welcome? and most mysterious of all, why did all the foot prints only lead in, and not out of this most alluring of orifices, surely the words Spider and fly spring to mind (Well, we are on the web) and the possibility of entering eggs entrance to heaven but not being able withdraw was preying on Chadads mind so much that he decided sod it in for a penny in for a pound and started tearing his clothes off and resulting from this Channel X viewers, who unknown to us egg had sold the franchaise too, suddenly here comes the cavalry - Liz comes tearing along on her motorised zimmer with Kunning Kate and the Amorous Annes in a trailer - pursued by the Wilson brothers disguised as mr and mrs blobby their zip up at the rear latex suits had neat little yale locks on them so without the keys why were they here the revolving door would be too small for them to enter
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Sora Grandmaster Cheater Supreme
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Joined: 14 May 2008 Posts: 1471
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Posted: Tue Sep 09, 2008 1:35 pm Post subject: |
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Hi Im a random spammer :O
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Localhost I post too much
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Sup3R C3r34L Grandmaster Cheater Supreme
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Joined: 05 Nov 2007 Posts: 1379 Location: Soviet Russia
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Posted: Tue Sep 09, 2008 2:00 pm Post subject: |
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copypasta is not nice
summarize
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br0l0ck Cheater
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Posted: Tue Sep 09, 2008 2:01 pm Post subject: |
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You cannot post new topics in this forum You cannot reply to topics in this forum You cannot edit your posts in this forum You cannot delete your posts in this forum You cannot vote in polls in this forum You cannot attach files in this forum You can download files in this forum
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