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kls85
I post too much

Reputation: 22

Joined: 18 Jul 2008
Posts: 2757
Location: Under ur bed

Posted: Sun Jul 20, 2008 3:51 pm Post subject: Anger Management

Found this joke on ebaums. If you have read it then good for you and for those who didn't enjoy. Laughing

ebaums wrote:

Anger Management
When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know.

I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to make.

I found the number and dialed it.
A man answered, saying 'Hello.'
I politely said, 'This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?'
Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear 'Get the right f***ing number!' and the phone was slammed down on me.

I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to call her, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits.

After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.

When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled 'You're an asshole!' and hung up. I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, 'You're an asshole!'

It always cheered me up.

When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic asshole calling would have to stop.

So, I called his number and said, 'Hi, this is John Smith from the telephone company. I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID Program?'

He yelled 'NO!' and slammed down the phone.
I quickly called him back and said, 'That's because you're an asshole!' and hung up.
One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a 'For Sale ' sign in his back window, so I wrote down his number.
A couple of days later, right after calling the first ass hole (I had his number on speed dial), I thought that I'd better call the BMW asshole, too.

I said, 'Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?'
He said, 'Yes, it is..'
I asked, 'Can you tell me where I can see it?'
He said, 'Yes, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax .
It's a yellow rambler, and the car's parked right out in front.'

I asked, 'What's your name?' He said, 'My name is Don Hansen.'

I asked, 'When's a good time to catch you, Don?'
He said, 'I'm home every evening after five.'

I said, 'Listen, Don, can I tell you something?'
He said, 'Yes?'
I said, 'Don, you're an asshole !'

Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call.

Then I came up with an idea.
I called Asshole #1.
He said, 'Hello.'
I said, 'You're an asshole!'
(But I didn't hang up.)

He asked, 'Are you still there?'
I said, 'Yeah.'
He screamed, 'Stop calling me!'
I said, 'Make me.'
He asked, 'Who are you?'

I said, 'My name is Don Hansen.'
He said, 'Yeah? Where do you live?'
I said, 'Asshole, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax, a yellow rambler, I have a black Beamer parked in front.'

He said, 'I'm coming over right now, Don.
And you had better start saying your prayers.'
I said, 'Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole,' and hung up.

Then I called Asshole No. 2.
He said, 'Hello?'
I said, 'Hello, asshole .'
He yelled, 'If I ever find out who you are...'
I said, 'You'll what?'
He exclaimed, 'I'll kick your ass,'
I answered, 'Well, asshole, here's your chance.
I'm coming over right now.'
Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fair fax , and that my gay lover was on his way over to kill me.
Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down in Oaktree Blvd. in Fairfax.

I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax I got there just in time to watch two assholes beating the crap out of each other in front of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter and surrounded by a news crew.

source: ebaumsworld

trebor
Grandmaster Cheater

Reputation: 21

Joined: 23 Dec 2007
Posts: 816

Posted: Sun Jul 20, 2008 3:58 pm Post subject:

thats hilarious!

kls85
I post too much

Reputation: 22

Joined: 18 Jul 2008
Posts: 2757
Location: Under ur bed

Posted: Sun Jul 20, 2008 4:26 pm Post subject:

Here is another one called "Cab to the airport"

ebaum wrote:

Cab To The Airport
A successful businessman flew to Vegas for the weekend to gamble. He lost the shirt off his back, and had nothing left but a quarter and the second half of his roundtrip ticket -- If he could just get to the airport he could get himself home.

So he went out to the front of the casino where there was a cab waiting. He got in and explained his situation to the cabbie. He promised to send the driver money from home, he offered him his credit card numbers, his drivers license number, his address, etc. but to no avail.

The cabbie said (adopt appropriate accent), "If you don't have fifteen dollars, get the hell out of my cab!" So the businessman was forced to hitch hike to the airport and barely caught his flight.

One year later the businessman, having worked long and hard to regain his financial success, returned to Vegas and this time he won big. Feeling pretty good about himself, he went out to the front of the casino to get a cab ride back to the airport.

Well who should he see out there, at the end of a long line of cabs, but his old buddy who had refused to give him a ride when he was down on his luck.

The businessman thought for a moment about how he could make the guy pay for his lack of charity, and he hit on a plan. The businessman got in the first cab in the line, "How much for a ride to the airport?" he asked.

"Fifteen bucks," came the reply.

"And how much for you to give me a blowjob on the way?"

"What?! Get the hell out of my cab."

The businessman got into the back of each cab in the long line and asked the same questions, with the same result.

When he got to his old friend at the back of the line, he got in and asked "How much for a ride to the airport?" The cabbie replied "fifteen bucks." The businessman said "Okay," and off they went.

Then, as they drove slowly past the long line of cabs the businessman gave a big smile and thumbs up sign to each driver.

souce: ebaumsworld

19diablo93
Expert Cheater

Reputation: 0

Joined: 22 Feb 2007
Posts: 240

Posted: Sun Jul 20, 2008 8:00 pm Post subject:

Haha those are great
_________________

DarkSavage wrote:

belie wrote:

My lvl 75 lizard is making me about 15m a day.

you have a lv 75 lizard? interesting..

CioNide
Advanced Cheater

Reputation: 0

Joined: 19 Mar 2008
Posts: 63

Posted: Sun Jul 20, 2008 8:12 pm Post subject:

Epic .

Ricardo
I post too much

Reputation: 1

Joined: 25 Sep 2007
Posts: 4418

Posted: Sun Jul 20, 2008 8:56 pm Post subject:

I actually have a person registered on my cellphone under "Faggot" whenever I wake up late at night I call that number and go to sleep. Hey, if I can't sleep, why should the faggots?

Cool_Devil
Master Cheater

Reputation: 0

Joined: 06 Jul 2008
Posts: 337
Location: The Netherworlds

Posted: Mon Jul 21, 2008 6:59 am Post subject:

:O Very funny

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